10 RULES OF FANTASY FOOTBALL
1) FIND A LEAGUE THAT SUITS YOU- There are several different types of leagues to choose from (Standard scoring, PPR, IDP, Auction, Keeper, etc.). Pick whatever sounds good to you. My only suggestion would be to join a league that encourages high scoring and a level playing field. Good examples are PPR (Point per reception) leagues and leagues that give QBs 5 or 6 points per TD as opposed to the usual lame 3 or 4.
2) DO YOUR HOMEWORK AND HAVE A DRAFT STRATEGY- Don't be the guy who shows up to the draft after a 2 day bender reeking of Jager and refried beans and asking if anyone has an extra checklist. Be prepared, it's only one day.
3) BRING A CASE, BUT DON'T DRINK MORE THAN A SIX PACK- Live drafts with a bunch of your bro-bros can be an awesome time, like a mini-party. Just remember not to get stupid drunk. Remember that you're drafting a team in order to make money. Now remember how many awful drunk decisions you've made in your life. A few beers won't hurt, just don't over do it. Why then should you bring a case? Because it's a good idea to try and get your opposition a little tipsy so they'll make some bad choices. Plus, you look like the nice guy for bringing everyone beer.
4) DRAFT WITH YOUR HEAD, NOT YOUR HEART- Forget your fanhood when it comes to fantasy football. Don't go out of your way to draft players from your favorite NFL team, or avoid players from a team you hate. It's fantasy, not reality. Draft the best player available regardless of your real life emotions. If you can't seperate your personal feelings from fantasy football strategy, I'm afraid you're not ready.
5) DRAFT VALUE OVER POSITION- Simple, take the best available player.
6) DON'T DRAFT ROOKIES, TIGHT ENDS, KICKERS, OR DEFENSES TOO EARLY- Everyone wants the next AP. So every year a ton of rookies are drafted 2-5 rounds too early by owners hoping to strike fantasy gold. The trouble is, rookie performance is too hard to predict. How high up on your board were Steve Slaton and Matt Forte last preseason? It's best to draft reliable guys who are proven contributers to fill out your starting lineup, then take a chance on rooks in the middle and late rounds. Additionally, there's no need to draft Tight Ends until you've drafted at least 1QB, 2 RBs, and 2 WRs. The only exception is Jason Witten. Personally, I wouldn't draft him before round 6, but if you want him on your team you'll have to pull the trigger in the 4th or 5th round. Your kicker and your defense should be your last two draft picks. No exceptions. Really, none. It's stupid.
7) DON'T DRAFT LEE EVANS- He's a fantasy football optical illusion. You think you see a good player and solid contributer. But really, Lee Evans has been falling short of expectations and letting down fantasy owners every year that he's been in the league. Yet, every season someone drafts him as their second receiver in hopes that this will finally be his year. Some people have even convinced themselves that T.O. coming to town will actually mean more production for Evans this season. I'm still trying to see the logic there.
8) IDENTIFY YOUR LEAGUE'S SHARK- Every league has the guy who is the fantasy equivalent of a used car salesman. He's a no good swindler who preys on the weak. Identify this guy immediately, and reject every trade he sends your way.
9) DON'T DUMP YOUR TEAM AFTER A SLOW START- You drafted them for a reason, stick with them. Everyone goes through rough fantasy patches, but drastic overreaction can be fantasy suicide.
10) DON'T BE AFRAID TO PLAY DIRTY- Remember, there's money on the line. Don't be afraid to do whatever it takes to win. Find loopholes, pull off sneaky trades, give bad advice, anything.
11) ALWAYS HANDCUFF YOUR RUNNING BACKS- I know it was supposed to be 10 rules, but I just remembered this one when I woke up today. Good thing because this might be the most important. Always draft the guys who back up your starting RBs in the later rounds. RBs go down the most often and are the hardest to replace. Handcuffing will make sure you always have a starting RB and keep you from scrambling to get some chump off of the waiver wire at the last second.
Ed. note- Thanks for taking time to read my ten rules of Fantasy Football. I know there are really 11, but 10 sounds more official