RANDOM THOUGHTS
-95% of societies problems are the direct result of bad parenting
-I’d like to throw a mean choke hold on every spamming whore on Myspace
-Michael Jordan elevated basketball to new heights, and then nearly killed it
-Poker is not a sport
-Everyone should listen to our show at least once
-Golf is not a sport either; it’s an incredibly frustrating hobby
-Hockey IS a sport, it’s just one that nobody watches
-We’re all going to die
-"Friendly Fire" is an oxymoron
-We question 3 college kids for smoking pot, but we elect a guy who did blow and drove drunk to be our president
-How do we know that every woman on the Rutgers basketball team had well conditioned hair?
-Dirk Nowitzki is one of the most boring and overrated superstar in the league
-Manu Ginobilli is the opposite
-Pink is for girls
-Rick Majerus will never make it in a city with such delicious barbecue ribs
-Cheerleading can be a sport. But it mostly just irritates fans of a different sport
-I wish I could dunk
-I really enjoy our little conversations
-Typing "ha" is quicker than typing "lol" and indicates the sound of actual laughter
-Barry Melrose’s new name should be ’Captain Super-Douche’
-I exert more energy mowing my lawn than I do playing a round of golf. So it’s still not a sport
-Horseracing is NOT a sport...it’s a giant casino game
-Charles Barkley is a better analyst than he was a basketball player. And he was a really good basketball player
-Emo music is the new bubble-gum pop
-I hope Josh Hancock didn’t owe anyone money for that weed
-Hooking up with someone on myspace is about as safe as hooking up with someone at a dimly-lit costume party
-The Scripps National Spelling Bee is more interesting than the NHL playoffs
-Being the best team in the National League is like being the tallest midget
-I can hit the gyro-ball
-Hey fat people, a diet coke with your super-sized 4 won’t make you skinny
-Jason Kidd beat my wife
-White people shouldn’t call things "the Bomb"
-Competitive eating is NOT a sport
-and it’s disgusting
-I think taking a charge in basketball is really just lazy defense
-Randy Moss will have his best season since his best season(Written right after I heard he was going to New England)
-Stop smoking. You’re killing yourself and you stink
-For the record; Hunting, fishing, horse-racing, dog sweaters, and dog-fighting are all forms of animal cruelty -Homeless-fighting, Hooker-fighting, and Death Row Inmate-fighting are perfectly fine
-I would watch Pro 4-square
-So what if I like Coldplay?
-I think it’s about time we all take our ’Git-R-Done’ stickers off of our pick-up trucks
-Next season I’m joining the FDFL (Fantasy Dog-Fighting League)
-If Michael Jordan began his career 20 years from now, we’d be calling him the next Lebron James
-The best way to let a dude know you mean business is to repeatedly call him ’bro’
-To sound like a true sports journalist, I try to use words like ’comparable’ and ’indicitive’
-Having long hair doesn’t make you a badass
-Neither does having a motorcycle
-If you close your eyes, those ESPN Deportes segments sound just like an episode of Dora the Explorer
-Tom Brady will play in the Super Bowl. In fact, the Giants don’t stand a chance unless they gang up on Brady and lynch him in a back alley.
-Roger Clemens injected me with beta-carotine
-Rock of Love 2 should be called Whorey Whores acting Whorish
-Every time I hear Mercury Morris Rhymes, I want to stab his throat 11 times
-Contrary to popular opinion, the following bands suck: AC/DC; ZZ Top; The Rolling Stones; Buckcherry; Stone Sour; The Killers; Fallout Boy; Rage Against the Machine; Metallica; Godsmack; Van Halen; Megadeath; Phish; Big and Rich; but especially AC/DC
-Hedo Turkoglo is fun to say with a Napolean Dynamite voice. Try that
-’Extreme sport’ is another way of saying ’stupid thing to do’
-Hockey is a combination of figure-skating, polo, and anger
-Unless it’s Halloween, there’s absolutely no reason for a white guy to be wearing a fur coat
-I’ve never even seen meth
-I’m scared to send my kids to college unarmed
-Being told you’re not funny is like getting kicked in the balls while your on the ground from a prior kick in the balls
-You’re awesome, thanks for paying attention to me
-Cuba Gooding Jr. is no Scottie Pippen
-My favorite player on Tennessee is the black guy with the headband
-I’m sick of people posting surveys on Myspace. At this point, I could care less about the last person to text you, or the last time you cried.....you pansy
-Bob Knight is much more entertaining addressing the media than he is pretending to be a part of it
-Bowling is not a sport
-F-R-E-E- that spells freecreditreport.com baby! Sorry, I can’t get that out of my head
-My kid just pooped
-You should teach your kids the true meaning of Easter. You know, how the Easter Bunny came back from the dead to throw pastel-colored eggs at the Jews
-What ever happened to Bryant Reeves?
-Chocolate and caramel may be the most perfect union in the history of the Earth
-Collars shouldn’t be ’popped’. Guys who sport this ridiculous look, should be
-Dwyane Wade is NOT overrated. Frank Caliendo is
-"That’s gonna leave a mark" along with "I just threw up in my mouth a little bit" are no longer effective punchlines
-People also need to stop using the terms ’whatnot’ and ’frickin’
-I really thought this was Coppin State’s year
-Randy Jackson sounds like an uncomfortable white kid in the hood trying to use black slang to fit in
-I’m getting dangerously close to feeding my dog a chocolate bar and some chicken wings
-Charles Barkley swears a lot
-A true friend tells you when you have a booger
-I’m outta here, high-five